Have you seen the pirate
with the coat hanger hand?
Why, he’s the most feared pirate
in all of the land.
And it’s not because of the GI Joes
he sent to the plank
Nor is it his bath toys
he fearlessly sank.
And it’s not his chest
or the treasure inside.
But because it’s the 21st Century…
And all other pirates have died.

I want my baby to be healthy,
I hope it isn’t lame.
But whether its a boy or girl,
I’ll love it just the same.

By Evan James Griffin

I let kids swim in the pool,
in the back of my truck.
They can swim all they want,
it only cost a buck.
The problem is that it spills,
when I speed over bumps.
When I turn corners,
the water dumps.
But the kids don’t mind,
they think it’s neat.
Until I drive up hill,
and pour them on the street.

By Evan James Griffin

When my hair is green
And my skin is brown
When my feet stink
And my parents frown
When flies are friends
And flowers wilt
When I start to smell
Like sour milk
When people gasp
And bums laugh
Then I know
I need a bath.

By Evan James Griffin