August 20th, 2010 
Evan
Humorous poems are hard to find. That’s why humorouspoems.net is the only website dedicated to collecting the most humorous poems on the internet. As of now, all of the humorous poetry is original work, however; as the website grows we will be accepting humorous poems for all writers. If you are searching for a poem; search by topic or search by keyword in the search bar. Please contact me for any of your poetry or speaking needs. – Evan James Griffin
October 18th, 2011 Evan Napping isn’t so bad,
so you shouldn’t be sad.
You get to stop and dream,
and let off some steam.
You get to sleep and rest,
from life’s daily quest.
And before you wake?..
Thank goodness…
Mom gets a break.
Evan James Griffin
September 16th, 2011 Evan Instead of drinking water,
They gave me thinking water,
Now I’m really smart.
And instead of ice cream,
They gave me nice cream,
Now I’ve got a big heart.
Instead of hot sauce,
They gave me snot sauce,
Now my tongue is gooey when I talk.
And instead of candy bars
They gave me sandy bars,
Now my mouth is full of rocks.
And instead of tribal stories,
They read me bible stories,
Now I want to be a preacher
And instead of kool-aid
They gave me school-aid.
But I still don’t like my teacher.
September 14th, 2011 Evan There is a smile plastered on my face,
though his words sting like mace.
He sputters and shouts on the phone.
As I think, “There’s no place like home.”
I’m wondering if this guy is stable
I guess he really cares about his cable
Now his threats are making me nervous.
Don’t you just love customer service?
September 13th, 2011 Evan Have you seen the pirate
with the coat hanger hand?
Why, he’s the most feared pirate
in all of the land.
And it’s not because of the GI Joes
he sent to the plank
Nor is it his bath toys
he fearlessly sank.
And it’s not his chest
or the treasure inside.
But because it’s the 21st Century…
And all other pirates have died.
July 15th, 2011 Evan Normally I do not post other poems, but this one made me laugh. This poem was submitted by L. Gerard. Her husband learned this poem when he was in 4th grade and he now recites it to his grandchildren.
CAG, the Porcupine
Cag the porcupine poked out his nose.
He lived in the wild where the Alagash flows.
His hair wasn’t curly, his temper was surly.
He’d risen too early which heightened his woes.
Cag the porcupine lumbered along,
There wasn’t a thing in the woods but was wrong.
The world as created was much overrated
And, oh, how he hated that chickadee’s song.
Cag the porcupine lurched on his way.
The fox and the wolverine wished him, “Good day.”
But Cag only mumbled and onward he stumbled,
“Some people”, he grumbled, “have too much to say.”
Cag the porcupine grumped to the hills,
“These sociable folks are the worst of my ills.
I wish I were prickly and stickly” and quickly
He found himself thickly provided with quills.
Cag the porcupine nibbles a cone,
The thistli-est, bristli-est, quadruped known,
And nobody pets him and nobody frets him
And everyone lets him strictly alone.
– Author Unknown (If you know the author, email it to me and will send you a prize!)
April 19th, 2011 Evan The hardest part of work,
is to pretend you’re working hard.
You can only stack so many papers,
or shuffle so many business cards.
In one tab you’ll have your email.
And the other you’ll have your shows.
And you can switch between them so quickly
Your boss hardly knows.
Hulu shows the Office,
Youtube has dancing Dogs.
Amazon sells lots of books,
On Ebay you bought some Pogs.
An online game of Scrabble
Makes you think of many words.
But when nature calls you leave,
And beat angry birds.
But once you tire of Facebook,
And you’ve written too many Tweets.
You’ll stroll down to the breakroom,
And help yourself to treats.
And if there is a co worker,
with semi-engaging news
You’ll only stop and gossip,
for at least an hour or two.
Other times you’ll play ping pong,
your favorite company perk.
It’s amazing what you get done.
when you come to work.
By Evan James Griffin
February 8th, 2011 Evan Mr. Snowman took a summer vacation,
he packed his bags and went to the station.
The train was hot so in manner quite subtle,
Mr. Snowman slumped and became Mr. Puddle.
By Evan James Griffin
October 19th, 2010 Evan Once I tried to teach the Horseman to read.
I tried everything;
fast, slow, all different speeds.
Until one day in frustration,
he stood up and said.
“How do you expect me to read?
When I don’t have a head!”
By Evan James Griffin
October 9th, 2010 Evan Never in my life…
Have I felt such pain!
Oh it’s terrible!
It’s driving me insane!
I think I’m dying;
My eyes have shut!
So much pain!
From a single paper cut?!
By Evan James Griffin
October 2nd, 2010 Evan The light house blinks and blinks and blinks.
The sail boat sinks and sinks and sinks.
As the captain thinks and thinks and thinks.
That he shouldn’t sail a boat,
that leaks and leaks and leaks.
